The Anti-Resolution

rusty_boats_free_photo

It’s midway through February, and I have made no resolutions. But I have been thinking about all the things I would like to drop in 2017:

Stress
The delusion that this year (THIS is the year) I will be fit and slim
Books I will never finish
At least one of my jobs
Resentment
The two-day old donut I am contemplating eating as I stand at the kitchen counter
My need for certainty.
Blotus from my waking nightmares.
The fantasy that I will try meditation.

I want less.

Not want less.

But WANT less.

All those years of training have left their mark: Plan, Tina! Set goals. Reach for the stars. You can not only be anything you want, but everything you want.

I want less.

I want to flow. To float. Like that crusty old boat, stopping for a minute to drink at river’s edge, then being carried by tide and time to distant shores and tasty adventures.

I’m tired of all the wanting.

I’d like to turn off the motor and just drift.

For a while.

I’m going to drop
Desire
Resistance
I’m going to drop
The many notes-to-self
I’m going to drop them right in the bin.

I’m going to leave the dishes in the sink.
Let the other fairies clean them up.

I resolve
To make no decisions
Before their time
None.

I resolve
To be imperfect
To be small
To be headless
To write with air

I resolve
Dissolve
the ego
the titles
the boxes
I check
each day
the soap scum
that fogs my view
merciful

So I wrote today.
This is what I wrote.

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Categories: Poetry

Tags: , , , , ,

7 replies

  1. Absolutely love this, Tina.

    Like

  2. Awesome! Try being Daisy from Gatsby without the accident. It takes a smart woman to play dumb. So, in my humble opinion, the reason ‘ignorance is bliss,’ is because no one has expectations about you or your performance.

    Here’s to a blissfully ignorant day! Cheers!

    Like

  3. This is so important to read, even for someone in a different generation! So often we feel this immense pressure to outperform, outrun, outdo each other. We forget it’s okay to just BE sometimes.

    Thank you for the reminder. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! Sometimes our parents set such bad examples for us. 😉

      Like

    • Bravo Miss Alyssa! However, I’d like to suggest one correction: it’s ALWAYS ok to just be. I believe we were built that way. Entire countries and religions stress the notion of just being. Personally, I don’t know how they handle the anxiety that ensues… another topic for another day …
      To Tina: I know my parents didn’t set such a good example! haha

      Liked by 1 person

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