Who would miss me when I’m gone?
I’m not gonna lie. I’ve often wondered who would show up at my funeral when I die. And I have a list of people I think would miss me. Or at least I have a list.
1. My husband would miss me, someone to share his day with, a wide welcoming body in which to tuck his cold little bum at night.
2. My daughter would miss me. She would miss my approval because then she would have to figure out, all by herself, how amazing she is.
3. My son wouldn’t miss me. His love is perfect. He is not attached.
4. My mother couldn’t miss me. I’ve been gone for a while.
5. My brother was never there.
6. My boss would miss me because there would be nobody to get shit done.
7. Carla would miss me. We are sisters.
8. Jill would miss me. That empty bar stool would be awfully lonely on a cold winter’s day. Then again, a cute, rich guy might sit down . . . . Never mind. Jill would not miss me.
9. Val would miss me. There would be no one to argue about books with.
10. Pearl and Tehnaz would miss me. Good things come in threes.
11. Amazon would miss me. Our daily trysts would have to come to an end. Maybe not. That bitch is a playa!
12. The trail by my house would miss me. I wonder where she went, it would think, that funny bundled up lady. Doesn’t she know this is winter in California?
13. Paris would miss me. Because boomerang.
14. Journal would miss me. She’s codependent.
15. Tania would miss me. Because actually getting paid for hours and hours of advice is so gauche!
16. Nancy would miss me. Everyone needs a fangirl.
17. Moon would miss me. She’s been keeping an eye on me ever since that barn burned down.
18. Pilot Varsity fountain pen would miss me. She knows she’s my favorite.
19. Love Actually would miss me. I’m what’s keeping it from kitschy oblivion.
20. I would miss me. When I’m gone.
Here are links to responses from a few other Questers:
Photo Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:R.I.P.jpg